Breathing Through Anxiety: Strategies to Calm Down When Anxious

Anxiety is something that most people will struggle with from time to time in varying degrees. Imagine with us for a moment. You are driving in your car when all of a sudden you are dizzy, your heart is racing, and you struggle to breathe. There is a thin layer of sticky sweat forming between your palms and the steering wheel. This may be the first time, but you are having a panic attack.

They can hit without much warning. If you are prepared with an understanding of what you are experiencing and different techniques to handle it, you can help yourself out of panic.

What is anxiety?

Girl doing breathing to stay calm and not be anxious. Anxiety can easily take over your life if you don't know a way to take back control. Breathing techniques are a great way to calm down when you are anxious.Anxiety in small doses is a part of everyday life as humans. It was a part of our survival instinct that kept our ancestors alive. According to the American Psychological Association, anxiety is defined as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.” It is also usually accompanied by a physical response such as rapid heart rate, trembling, sweating, and dizziness.

Within the umbrella of anxiety there are typically six subcategories to better define how it affects your life: Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social Anxiety, Specific Phobias, Panic Disorders, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Here are some of the symptoms of anxiety that you may experience when you are working through it:

  • Feeling nervous, restless or tense
  • Having a sense of impending danger, panic or doom
  • Having an increased heart rate
  • Breathing rapidly (hyperventilation)
  • Sweating
  • Trembling
  • Feeling weak or tired
  • Trouble concentrating or thinking about anything other than the present worry
  • Having trouble sleeping
  • Experiencing gastrointestinal (GI) problems
  • Having difficulty controlling worry
  • Having the urge to avoid things that trigger anxiety

Shallow breathing contributes to Anxiety

When people are anxious, they tend to take rapid, shallow breaths that come directly from the chest. This type of breathing, called thoracic or chest breathing, casus an upset in the oxygen and carbon dioxide levels in the body resulting in increased heart rate, dizziness, muscle tension, and other physical sensations. In other words, your blood is not being properly oxygenated and this may signal a stress response that contributes to anxiety and panic attacks. When you are anxious, you might not even notice that you are breathing this way.

Diaphragmatic or deep breathing, on the other hand, stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for regulating the heartbeat, blood flow, breathing, and digestion. Deep breathing can help you avoid the “fight-or-flight” response to mentally or physically terrifying situations. When you breathe this way, you can feel your belly rise and fall with each breath.

Most people aren’t really conscious of the way they’re breathing, but generally, the easiest way to determine your breathing pattern is to put one hand on your stomach (near your waist) and the other in the middle of your chest. As you breathe, notice which hand raises the most.

If you are breathing properly, your stomach should rise and fall with each breath, and the hand resting on your stomach should rise and fall the most.

It’s important to be aware of your breath during stressful and anxious times. If you notice shallow breathing, simply consciously switching to deep breaths can help bring your body back into a calm state.

Breathing Techniques to help with Anxiety

Alternate Nostril Breathing

Alternate-nostril breathing involves blocking off one nostril at a time as you breathe through the other, alternating between nostrils in a regular pattern. When following the prompts below, you will use one finger to softly close one nostril at a time.

Close your eyes or softly gaze downward.
Inhale and exhale to begin.
Close off your right nostril with your finger.
Inhale through your left nostril.
Close off your left nostril with your finger.
Open and exhale through your right nostril.
Inhale through your right nostril.
Close off your right nostril with your finger.
Open and exhale through your left nostril.
Inhale through your left nostril.

Do your best to work up to 10 rounds of this breathing pattern. If you begin to feel lightheaded, take a break. Release both nostrils and breathe normally.

“When the mind is agitated, change the pattern of the breath”
Patanjali, Yoga Sutras

Belly Breathing

According to The American Institute of Stress, 20 to 30 minutes of belly breathing each day will reduce anxiety and stress.
Find a comfortable, quiet place to sit or lie down. You can try sitting in a chair, sitting cross-legged, or lying on your back with a small pillow under your head or knees.

Place one hand on your upper chest and the other hand on your belly, below the ribcage.
Allow your belly to relax, without forcing it inward by squeezing or clenching your muscles.
Breathe in slowly through your nose. The air should move into your nose and downward so that you feel your stomach rise with your other hand and fall inward (toward your spine).
Exhale slowly through slightly pursed lips. Take note of the hand on your chest, which should remain relatively still.

You can try this exercise as long as it feels comfortable. Benefits of belly breathing can be felt with as little as 5 minutes of daily breathwork practice.

Box Breathing

Breathing and finding your calm space is important. This woman is sitting in the mountains breathing and appearing very calm. These kinds of activities reduce anxiety and lead to a healthier state of living.Box breathing can also be called four-square breathing. This is a simple breathing practice that can feel comfortable and calming. Follow these simple directions:

Exhale to a count of four.
Hold your lungs empty for a four count.
Inhale to a count of four.
Hold air in your lungs for a count of four.
Exhale and begin the pattern anew.

4-7-8 Breathing

The 4-7-8 breathing exercise, also called the relaxing breath, acts as a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system. At first, it’s best to perform the exercise seated with your back straight. Once you become more familiar with the breathing exercise, however, you can perform it while lying in bed:

Place and keep the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue behind your upper front teeth for the duration of the exercise.
Completely exhale through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.
Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.
Hold your breath for a count of seven.
Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight.

Resonance Breathing

Resonance breathing, or coherent breathing, can help you get into a relaxed state and reduce anxiety

Lie down and close your eyes.
Gently breathe in through your nose, mouth closed, for a count of six seconds. Don’t fill your lungs too full of air.
Exhale for six seconds, allowing your breath to leave your body slowly and gently without forcing it.
Continue for up to 10 minutes.

Take a few additional minutes to be still and focus on how your body feels.

Note: Sometimes people with a panic or anxiety disorder may feel increased anxiety or panic while practicing breathing exercises. This may be due to the increased focus on breathing. It is important to talk with a counselor about any challenges that come up when practicing breathwork. Often, the increase in anxiety or panic is temporary and due to the newness of the breathing technique.Woman breathing underneath a flower tree. Calming yourself when experiencing anxiety does not have to be difficult. Learning breathing techniques leaves you feeling more empowered than ever to tackle your anxiety.

When to seek out counseling for anxiety

Like we mentioned above, anxiety is a part of every person’s life. If you find that your anxiety is keeping you from certain activities, interfering with your work, or affecting your relationships; it is a good idea to seek out some help. Breathing techniques are an excellent starting point. If you are not seeing the improvement you might like or want extra tools for your belt to tackle your anxiety, we are here in Southlake, Texas to help with just that.

We offer counseling assistance to those looking to take back control of their lives and feel confident again. Anxiety does not have to control your life anymore! If you are located here in Texas, we offer in office services to those in the DFW area and telehealth options for those who cannot make it into the office. To schedule a consultation to see how we can address your anxiety concerns give a call, text us, or email us. We are here to help you live the life you always dreamed of.

Communicating with Your Partner for Better Connection

Connection, we all crave it. Studies show that when we are connected with people we love, we live longer lives. We seek connection through family and friends. It is our intimate relationships that provide the greatest forms of connection. Communicating with your partner in a healthy way promotes connection and intimacy. When communication struggles emerge we often find ourselves feeling isolated and misunderstood. These negative emotions lead to arguments – or worse, we stop communicating altogether.

If you find yourself struggling to connect and communicate with your partner, there are things you can do to help. Communication skills can be learned at any age and stage of the relationship.

Two types of communication

Communication is essential to a happy, healthy partnership. There are two parts to healthy communication: speaking and listening. When we think of communicating our needs, we usually focus on the words we speak. And when speaking, it’s helpful to remember that communication goes beyond the words we speak. There are two types of communication that come together to create the message we speak:

Verbal: Verbal communication is the most obvious form of communication. These are the words we speak. While it is crucial that we are aware of the content of our words, they only play a part in the message that is received by our partner. Non-verbal cues provide a great deal of context to our words and can greatly affect how our message is received.

Non-verbal: Non-verbal communication encompasses our tone (sarcasm, sympathy, frustration…), body language (engaged, aloof, connected…), and even our presentation (composed, erratic, disorganized…). Studies have shown that non-verbal communication is equally (if not more) important to verbal communication when discussing difficult topics.

As mentioned earlier, speaking is only one part of communication. It is important that we speak clearly and that our verbal and non-verbal communications match our intentions. In a relationship, it is also critical that we are good listeners. To improve communication in a relationship, we must discover how to listen, not how to talk.

“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.”

Stephen R. Covey

Signs you may struggle to communicate with your partner

When we have poor communication we often feel unheard or misunderstood. Here are some indicators that your communication isn’t working:

  • Feeling misunderstood
  • Feeling unheard
  • Frequent fights and arguments
  • Emotionally distant
  • Increased resentment
  • Cyclical arguments that are never resolved
  • Passive Aggression
  • Getting defensive
  • Criticizing or belittling
  • Lack of emotional intimacy
  • Stubbornness and the need to “win”

Tips for communicating with your partner

Couple holding hands with each other leading them forward. Couples communication required leadership as well as a vision for the future. If you can both see that you are moving forward together, it makes it easier to communicate.The biggest misconception about how to communicate in a relationship is that communication is the same as talking or making conversation. Communication in partnerships, at its core, is about connecting with your spouse to offer support and to understand their point of view. Below are some helpful tips for communicating with your partner.

Stay focused on the current topic

It may be tempting to bring up past events, but doing so will often lead to unproductive arguments. This often clouds the issue and makes finding mutual understanding and a solution to the current issue less likely. Try not to bring up past hurts or other topics. Stay focused on the present, your feelings, understanding one another, and finding a solution.

If there is a long history of similar conflicts, then it may be helpful to sort through these past events with a counselor. The counselor will help you understand the commonalities among all the past events and will help you discuss and resolve the issues with clarity and focus.

Listen Carefully

People often think they are listening, but really they are thinking of what they want to say next. Remember, healthy communication includes listening to understand. When your partner is speaking, don’t interrupt and don’t get defensive. When they are done speaking, first try to repeat back to them what you think you heard. This will let them know you are hearing them and will also give them an opportunity to clear up any misconceptions.

Respond to criticism with empathy

Couple looking into each others eyes. Communication as a couple requires active listening. That means looking at your partner when they are talking and taking into account verbal and nonverbal cues. Couples communication depends on listening more than anything.It can be tough to hear criticism and not become defensive. It is helpful to remember that your partner is trying to communicate how your behavior is making them feel. Even if your partner isn’t using those words, try and pull out how they are feeling. When you can connect and talk about their experience, it will be easier to connect and find a mutual solution.

Own what is yours

Personal responsibility is a strength, not a weakness. Healthy communication involves admitting when you’re wrong. Even if you didn’t mean to hurt or offend your partner, it is healthy and productive to admit when you have caused your partner pain.

Use “I” statements for communicating with your partner

Instead of saying things like “You hurt me” or “You really messed up here”, begin statements with “I” and make them about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel hurt and unimportant when this happens…”. “I” statements are less accusatory, less likely to spark defensiveness, and help the other person understand your point of view. I statements help you communicate clearly with your partner.

Take a time out when communicating with your partner

Sometimes tempers get heated and it’s just too difficult to continue a discussion without it becoming an argument or a fight. If you feel yourself or your partner starting to get too angry to be constructive, it’s okay to take a break from the conversation until you have had some time to cool off. It is important that you intentionally seek out activities to cool off and return to the conversation.

Sometimes communicating with your partner well means knowing when to take a break.

Remember that the goal of effective communication skills should be mutual understanding and finding a solution that pleases both parties, not “winning” the argument or “being right.” This doesn’t work in every situation, but sometimes (if you’re having a conflict in a romantic relationship) it helps to hold hands or stay physically connected as you talk. This can remind you that you still care about each other and generally support one another.
Keep in mind that it’s important to remain respectful of the other person, even if you don’t like their actions.

When your partner isn’t on board

Couple that is upset and not able to communicate. They are facing away from one another against a wall.If your partner is not interested in learning how to improve their communication skills, that is okay. It does not mean that your relationship is doomed. Rather, you are just the first person to make the decision to improve aspects of the relationship. Since the goal of effective communication is mutual understanding, you can help make communication feel easier by practicing clear verbal and non-verbal skills and demonstrating good listening skills. By doing this, you will diffuse the situation and create a more harmonious atmosphere for communication to occur. Of course, boundaries and reciprocal attention are important in a partnership. It may be helpful to enlist the help of a counselor to ensure that you are not creating or maintaining unhealthy relationship patterns.

Texas-based Couples Counseling may help you with communicating with your partner

If one or both of you has trouble staying respectful during the conflict, or if you’ve tried to resolve conflict with your partner on your own and the situation isn’t improving, you might benefit from a few sessions with a couples therapist. Couples counseling or family therapy can provide help with contentious arguments and can teach skills to resolve future conflicts. If your partner is not interested in going to counseling, you can still benefit from going alone.

The Well House Group has counselors who specialize in couples counseling in Southlake, Texas. If you are curious about other resources or are interested in learning how to communicate with your partner, contact us. We work with couples all over the Dallas-Fort Worth area. For those located outside of the DFW metroplex, we offer secure Telehealth counseling through our HIPAA compliant servers. We look forward to helping you improve your relationships with your loved ones.

7 Back to School Tips for Parents Post-Pandemic

Every child faces challenges when returning back to school. But back-to-school-time can be even more challenging for students who struggle with mental health or learning disabilities. School routines and expectations are very different from those of summer break.  As the world begins to open up after COVID-19, many kids are finding themselves back in the classroom for the first time in a while. We have all felt the impact of COVID-19 restrictions. And children are no exception. It’s helpful to remember that while children are often quite resilient, they are not immune to the stresses of environmental change. As we prepare for back to school activities, you may be wondering how to help your child deal with school during COVID-19.

 

Seven back to school tips for parents.

seven back to school tips for parentsMental Health problems often come back with the start of school.

Summer provides a welcome respite from the hustle and expectations of the school year. The jump back into a hyper-regimented schedule is a lot to handle for anyone, but it is especially challenging for kids. Children with special needs will need extra attention to make sure they are prepared to navigate the expectations of the new school year. This will look different for each child, but often this means that a parent will need to help set up organization, study habits, school support team. In addition to setting them up for success at the beginning, keep a closer eye on them throughout the first month or so to see how they are adjusting. As the year goes on, try to touch base with them on how they are doing emotionally.

Get to know your child’s teachers.

Depending on your child’s age and maturity level, you will want to forge a connection with your child’s teachers. Teachers get to know a child’s family through the child’s eyes. They get to know how a child behaves without the parents present.  You can begin by asking questions like: How is my child doing? Do you have any concerns about their social or academic skills? Do you think they need my help with anything?

If your child is older, you will want to encourage proper communication with teachers. This includes reaching out to the teachers via email and in-office hours. It’s important that your child begin building a relationship with their teacher before trouble hits. An easy way to do this is to set up a schedule where your child regularly attends tutorial hours with individual teachers. By regularly rotating through these intimate settings your child will learn the importance of relationships in academic success.

Set up a homework routine from the beginning

You can help your child adjust to the structure of a new school year by making changes to the structure and expectations at home. A dedicated after-school routine that includes time for homework is crucial. Involve your child in the planning, but once the routine is set, do not let them deviate from the plan. You will be reinforcing the importance of this routine, and everyone will benefit from the dedicated time for home studies.

Reinforce good sleep habits.

Getting plenty of rest and sleep is important not only for good grades and staying awake but also for preventing depression and other mental health issues. Establishing a reasonable bedtime routine for your child will let them know that sleep is important. This can be even more important as they get older and have additional commitments outside of school. Setting up the habit early can lead to higher rates of success as they age.

Serve healthy food and encourage healthy eating.

Food choices affect mood, ability to concentrate, and energy levels. It is important that you provide healthy balanced options for your child. Having healthy fruits and vegetables available for after-school snacks will help your child stay alert and focused as they begin their after-school activities. Learn more about your child’s nutritional needs, so you can be setting them up for success. Not only is this going to impact them today with their learning abilities, but these habits come into play later in life as well.

Don’t jump to conclusions.

Every child matures and learns at their own pace. If your child isn’t quite ready for the rigor and expectations in the classroom that is okay. Talk with teachers and administrators to understand what their goals and intentions are for students. They can give you tips and tricks to support your child as they grow into the expectations of the school year. By initiating these conversations with school staff, you will be in a good position for further intervention should your child need additional support beyond what you are able to give.

Don’t overcommit.

With so many good opportunities for extracurriculars, many families find themselves exhausted running from one activity to the next. Keep in mind the cumulative effect that each activity will have on your child. Even if your child can logistically attend all the practices and meetings, it may not be wise to spread their energies and attention across many different activities.

At the Well House Group, we see many kids who are stressed, anxious and exhausted from all their activities. Rigorous extracurriculars on top of a rigorous academic schedule is not a recipe for mental health. To know if you have overextended your obligations, you only need to look to your child for clues. Are they exhausted, anxious, or struggling to manage their responsibilities? If so, this can be a sign that they have overcommitted themselves. As a parent, it is your job to model a balanced lifestyle that includes ample time for rest and fun in addition to academic and extracurricular activities.

While these are helpful tips for all parents at the start of the year, there are some instances where these tips are not enough. If your child shows signs of extreme anxiety and has unusual difficulties in school, you should discuss your concerns with your child’s teacher as well as a mental health professional. Each of these individuals can advise on whether a child’s problems are normal and age-appropriate or require further evaluation.

How we can help you get Back to School

Our counseling services are for more than just when your child may be anxious or depressed. We have the tools here at The Well House to help with future planning, academic coaching, or to help you with what to do next as a parent. The support necessary for a whole family is important to us here. This year in particular is going to be hard for us and our kids as we navigate a world that looks completely different than it may have before. Kids are doing school online, they may not be able to play the way they used to, and new rules are abundant. School post-pandemic doesn’t have to be scary, though.

We are here to provide you with the support that your family needs, whatever that may be. Reach out to us and schedule a discussion to find out how we can help you and your children. Let’s get back to school without feeling like losing your mind. Let’s make this school year a great one.

4 Ways to Practice Mindfulness Today

Mindfulness transforms how we relate in our daily life. When we are mindful, life feels more spacious and less chaotic. We react less and experience more. It can be hard to find the time to practice mindfulness. But few practices offer as much potential for transformation as does mindfulness. With regular practice, we can begin to experience stress and anxiety differently. Mindfulness creates the space needed to choose outcomes and experience the world in a whole new way.

“Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” Jon Kabat-Zinn

Mindfulness shifts us out of our default mode

Many of us spend our days on autopilot, not aware of what we are experiencing. When on autopilot, we do not experience the world as it is.  Instead, we experience the world through the filter of our mind, our past, or whatever thoughts we are having in the present moment. When we do notice something in the present, our default is often to judge instantly and react quickly. In these moments, we are likely not reacting 100% to the present experience, rather we are reacting to a memory, thought, or belief that is only loosely related to the present moment.

Imagine the possibilities if you could fully focus on the present moment without interference from past experiences, fears, or beliefs. Mindfulness is how we get there. When we are mindful in the present moment, we see things are they are, not as we imagine them to be. Mindfulness helps us be present in our lives and gives us control over our reactions and repetitive thought patterns. It helps us pause, get a clearer picture of a situation, and respond more skillfully

If this description of mindfulness sounds different that your default way of being, you may find yourself wondering how you can become more mindful. Maybe you are experiencing a lot of anxiety and worries, and you would like to learn how to be more mindful to help with anxiety. If so, this blog is for you. In this blog, you will learn what mindfulness really is and 3 practical steps you can take right now to be more mindful in your daily life.

3 Mindfulness Exercises You Can Try Today

1.Mindful Breathing for Anxiety

This mindful breathing exercise will help you build the mental muscle needed to focus your attention both towards desired thoughts and away from undesired thoughts. If you struggle with anxiety, this breathing technique is a great place to start.

This exercise can be done standing up or sitting down, and anywhere at any time. If you can sit down, that’s great, if not, no worries. Either way, all you have to do is be still and focus on your breath for one minute. Start by breathing in and out slowly. The length of each breath will be different for each person, but a good rule of thumb is to breathe in for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, and then breathe out for 5 seconds. We call this 5-5-5 breathing or a breath work meditation.

Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, letting your breath flow effortlessly in and out of your body. While you are breathing, let your attention move to your breath. You may find it difficult to stop thinking, and that’s ok. The goal is to notice your thoughts without getting lost in them. Whenever you have a thought, notice it and then let your attention come back to your breath.

As you are intentionally focusing on your breath, you may notice the feeling of the air as it fills your body. Allow yourself to notice the rise and fall of your stomach and the sensation of air flowing in your nose and out of your mouth. If your mind wanders and you have trouble focusing on your breath, that is okay. It’s actually the point of this exercise! When you catch your mind wandering, just notice where your mind is and then come back to noticing your breath. To begin, set a timer for 5 minutes. There is no minimum or maximum length of time that you can practice this exercise. Some days will be easier than others, and that’s okay!

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” – Amit Ray.

2. Mindful Observation to Help with Depression and to Cultivate Gratitude

Do you struggle to find the good in things? Do you tend to jump to worst case scenario? Mindful observation is a mindfulness technique that strengthens your ability to focus. Often when we are anxious or depressed, it can be hard to turn our thoughts in a more positive direction. While these exercises are not a cure-all for anxiety or depression, they can certainly give your brain a boost when it comes to having more control over where you focus your attention.

This exercise is incredibly powerful as it helps you notice and appreciate the simple beauties that surround you each day. The calming effects will become more tangible the longer you practice this exercise. Choose a natural object from within your immediate environment and focus on watching it for a minute or two. This could be a flower, an insect, the clouds, or even the moon. Don’t do anything except notice the thing you are looking at. Simply relax into watching for as long as your concentration allows.

Look at this object as if you are seeing it for the first time. Visually explore every aspect of its formation, and allow yourself to be consumed by its presence. Allow yourself to connect with its energy and its purpose within the natural world. If your mind wanders and you have trouble focusing on the object, that is okay. When you catch your mind wandering, just notice where your mind is and then come back to noticing the intricate details of your chosen object.

3. Mindful Awareness to Become More Present in Your Life

If you struggle to stay present and in-the-moment, mindful awareness exercises can help. This exercise will strengthen your minds ability to stay present and aware. You will also sharpen your mind’s ability to focus and notice the little things around you. If you have experienced trauma or other attachment related injuries, then this exercise may be difficult for you. If staying present is especially triggering or difficult, please seek the support of a trusted counselor who can help you in your healing journey.

To begin, think of something that you do every day; maybe something you take for granted, like opening a door. (you can choose any task or action that calls to you). Every time you go to open a door, pause to intentionally notice all your sensations and surroundings. Notice the feel of the doorknob, the weight of the door, does it make a noise when you open the door? You may notice your heart and breath, even the thoughts you are having in that moment are part of this little snapshot. You may even feel gratitude for your hands as they open the door. As you begin to melt into this exercise, trust your intuition as it guides you to notice and appreciate things in whatever ways serve you in that moment.

“Every one of us already has the seed of mindfulness. The practice is to cultivate it.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Mindfulness is your superpower

With regular practice, we harness the ability to root the mind in the present moment. When fully present, we are more equipped to deal with life’s challenges and to handle anxiety and stress. As we learn to direct our awareness, we have more control over our thoughts and can choose where our attention goes.

If you are struggling with anxiety or depression and would like help learning any of these techniques, counseling at The Well House can help. Our Counselors are trained to help you heal from past traumas and can teach you mindfulness techniques that you can use anywhere. We offer counseling both in person in our Southlake, Texas office or online via our secure Telehealth platform.  Our counselors have helped people all over the DFW area to heal from past trauma, to improve their work-life balance, and to be better partners and parents. If you are interested in learning more about counseling or how mindfulness can help with anxiety Contact us today.

What to Do When You Are Feeling Overwhelmed

Everyone feels overwhelmed sometimes. When you find your head spinning and you’re having a hard time knowing what to do or how to take care of yourself, you need to take a moment to check in.  At the Well House, we think of the acronym “RAIN” when it comes to overwhelming emotions. Here are some quick, concrete steps you can take to help yourself when you are feeling overwhelmed.

When you are feeling overwhelmed, let it RAIN


R – Recognize what’s going on

A – Allow the experience to be there, just as it is

I – Investigate with kindness

N – Natural awareness which comes from not identifying with the experience

Let’s dive a little deeper into the “RAIN” acronym.

R – Recognize what’s going on

When you are feeling overwhelmed, it’s helpful to shift your perspective from BEING the overwhelm to NOTICING the overwhelm. This is a subtle shift where we simply notice: “I’m feeling overwhelmed”. This alone may not make your feelings go away, but it is a crucial step in the process. When we do this, we get a little space from the overwhelm and our nervous system can begin the process of calming down.

A – Allow the experience to be there, just as it is.

This is where you intentionally show yourself love and compassion. With the same tenderness you would reserve for a child, give yourself compassion for feeling some hard stuff. In these moments, you may look in a mirror and tell yourself: “I’m feeling _______” (fill in the blank with however you are feeling).

“Sometimes it’s okay if the only thing you managed to do today is breathe.”

I – Investigate with kindness.

Gently look at your situation and find ways that you can show up for yourself. If you are still looking in the mirror, ask yourself what you need. Do you need to scream, cry, move? Would it be helpful if you committed to just completing one thing from your list? Or do you need to put aside your list for now and do something fun or relaxing? This is a great time to take some slow, deep belly breaths.

N – Natural experience which comes from not identifying with the experience.

Through every step, you have been practicing non-judgmental attachment with your feelings. As you finish with the RAIN process, remember that there is no such thing as a bad emotion. Emotions are simply signals – telling us how something does or doesn’t work for us. In other words, you are not an overwhelmed person so much as you are feeling overwhelmed at this moment.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it again for a few minutes, including you” – Anne Lamott


If you struggle with feeling overwhelmed more often than not, counseling can help. When we feel overwhelmed this is our body and mind telling us that there is something that is too much for us to handle. You don’t have to push through these feelings. The RAIN process is a helpful way to handle difficult emotions as they come up, but it will not help you address the root issues.

How can counselors help you with feeling overwhelmed?

At The Well House Group, we empower you to live your best lives. Whether this is teaching you how to dive deeper into stress management strategies or unpacking some of the root issues that cause your stress; we are here to help. Our compassionate and professional staff are here to help you find what you need to make it past whatever difficulties you may be facing.

Life does not have to feel stressful all the time. You can learn how to manage the overwhelm and live a healthier and happier life. We are available to schedule your appointment today via text, phone call, or email. We look forward to helping you achieve your goals today.