Tag Archive for: Overwhelmed

Breathing Through Anxiety: Strategies to Calm Down When Anxious

Anxiety is something that most people will struggle with from time to time in varying degrees. Imagine with us for a moment. You are driving in your car when all of a sudden you are dizzy, your heart is racing, and you struggle to breathe. There is a thin layer of sticky sweat forming between your palms and the steering wheel. This may be the first time, but you are having a panic attack.

They can hit without much warning. If you are prepared with an understanding of what you are experiencing and different techniques to handle it, you can help yourself out of panic.

What is anxiety?

Girl doing breathing to stay calm and not be anxious. Anxiety can easily take over your life if you don't know a way to take back control. Breathing techniques are a great way to calm down when you are anxious.Anxiety in small doses is a part of everyday life as humans. It was a part of our survival instinct that kept our ancestors alive. According to the American Psychological Association, anxiety is defined as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.” It is also usually accompanied by a physical response such as rapid heart rate, trembling, sweating, and dizziness.

Within the umbrella of anxiety there are typically six subcategories to better define how it affects your life: Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social Anxiety, Specific Phobias, Panic Disorders, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Here are some of the symptoms of anxiety that you may experience when you are working through it:

  • Feeling nervous, restless or tense
  • Having a sense of impending danger, panic or doom
  • Having an increased heart rate
  • Breathing rapidly (hyperventilation)
  • Sweating
  • Trembling
  • Feeling weak or tired
  • Trouble concentrating or thinking about anything other than the present worry
  • Having trouble sleeping
  • Experiencing gastrointestinal (GI) problems
  • Having difficulty controlling worry
  • Having the urge to avoid things that trigger anxiety

Shallow breathing contributes to Anxiety

When people are anxious, they tend to take rapid, shallow breaths that come directly from the chest. This type of breathing, called thoracic or chest breathing, casus an upset in the oxygen and carbon dioxide levels in the body resulting in increased heart rate, dizziness, muscle tension, and other physical sensations. In other words, your blood is not being properly oxygenated and this may signal a stress response that contributes to anxiety and panic attacks. When you are anxious, you might not even notice that you are breathing this way.

Diaphragmatic or deep breathing, on the other hand, stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for regulating the heartbeat, blood flow, breathing, and digestion. Deep breathing can help you avoid the “fight-or-flight” response to mentally or physically terrifying situations. When you breathe this way, you can feel your belly rise and fall with each breath.

Most people aren’t really conscious of the way they’re breathing, but generally, the easiest way to determine your breathing pattern is to put one hand on your stomach (near your waist) and the other in the middle of your chest. As you breathe, notice which hand raises the most.

If you are breathing properly, your stomach should rise and fall with each breath, and the hand resting on your stomach should rise and fall the most.

It’s important to be aware of your breath during stressful and anxious times. If you notice shallow breathing, simply consciously switching to deep breaths can help bring your body back into a calm state.

Breathing Techniques to help with Anxiety

Alternate Nostril Breathing

Alternate-nostril breathing involves blocking off one nostril at a time as you breathe through the other, alternating between nostrils in a regular pattern. When following the prompts below, you will use one finger to softly close one nostril at a time.

Close your eyes or softly gaze downward.
Inhale and exhale to begin.
Close off your right nostril with your finger.
Inhale through your left nostril.
Close off your left nostril with your finger.
Open and exhale through your right nostril.
Inhale through your right nostril.
Close off your right nostril with your finger.
Open and exhale through your left nostril.
Inhale through your left nostril.

Do your best to work up to 10 rounds of this breathing pattern. If you begin to feel lightheaded, take a break. Release both nostrils and breathe normally.

“When the mind is agitated, change the pattern of the breath”
Patanjali, Yoga Sutras

Belly Breathing

According to The American Institute of Stress, 20 to 30 minutes of belly breathing each day will reduce anxiety and stress.
Find a comfortable, quiet place to sit or lie down. You can try sitting in a chair, sitting cross-legged, or lying on your back with a small pillow under your head or knees.

Place one hand on your upper chest and the other hand on your belly, below the ribcage.
Allow your belly to relax, without forcing it inward by squeezing or clenching your muscles.
Breathe in slowly through your nose. The air should move into your nose and downward so that you feel your stomach rise with your other hand and fall inward (toward your spine).
Exhale slowly through slightly pursed lips. Take note of the hand on your chest, which should remain relatively still.

You can try this exercise as long as it feels comfortable. Benefits of belly breathing can be felt with as little as 5 minutes of daily breathwork practice.

Box Breathing

Breathing and finding your calm space is important. This woman is sitting in the mountains breathing and appearing very calm. These kinds of activities reduce anxiety and lead to a healthier state of living.Box breathing can also be called four-square breathing. This is a simple breathing practice that can feel comfortable and calming. Follow these simple directions:

Exhale to a count of four.
Hold your lungs empty for a four count.
Inhale to a count of four.
Hold air in your lungs for a count of four.
Exhale and begin the pattern anew.

4-7-8 Breathing

The 4-7-8 breathing exercise, also called the relaxing breath, acts as a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system. At first, it’s best to perform the exercise seated with your back straight. Once you become more familiar with the breathing exercise, however, you can perform it while lying in bed:

Place and keep the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue behind your upper front teeth for the duration of the exercise.
Completely exhale through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.
Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.
Hold your breath for a count of seven.
Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight.

Resonance Breathing

Resonance breathing, or coherent breathing, can help you get into a relaxed state and reduce anxiety

Lie down and close your eyes.
Gently breathe in through your nose, mouth closed, for a count of six seconds. Don’t fill your lungs too full of air.
Exhale for six seconds, allowing your breath to leave your body slowly and gently without forcing it.
Continue for up to 10 minutes.

Take a few additional minutes to be still and focus on how your body feels.

Note: Sometimes people with a panic or anxiety disorder may feel increased anxiety or panic while practicing breathing exercises. This may be due to the increased focus on breathing. It is important to talk with a counselor about any challenges that come up when practicing breathwork. Often, the increase in anxiety or panic is temporary and due to the newness of the breathing technique.Woman breathing underneath a flower tree. Calming yourself when experiencing anxiety does not have to be difficult. Learning breathing techniques leaves you feeling more empowered than ever to tackle your anxiety.

When to seek out counseling for anxiety

Like we mentioned above, anxiety is a part of every person’s life. If you find that your anxiety is keeping you from certain activities, interfering with your work, or affecting your relationships; it is a good idea to seek out some help. Breathing techniques are an excellent starting point. If you are not seeing the improvement you might like or want extra tools for your belt to tackle your anxiety, we are here in Southlake, Texas to help with just that.

We offer counseling assistance to those looking to take back control of their lives and feel confident again. Anxiety does not have to control your life anymore! If you are located here in Texas, we offer in office services to those in the DFW area and telehealth options for those who cannot make it into the office. To schedule a consultation to see how we can address your anxiety concerns give a call, text us, or email us. We are here to help you live the life you always dreamed of.

What to Do When You Are Feeling Overwhelmed

Everyone feels overwhelmed sometimes. When you find your head spinning and you’re having a hard time knowing what to do or how to take care of yourself, you need to take a moment to check in.  At the Well House, we think of the acronym “RAIN” when it comes to overwhelming emotions. Here are some quick, concrete steps you can take to help yourself when you are feeling overwhelmed.

When you are feeling overwhelmed, let it RAIN


R – Recognize what’s going on

A – Allow the experience to be there, just as it is

I – Investigate with kindness

N – Natural awareness which comes from not identifying with the experience

Let’s dive a little deeper into the “RAIN” acronym.

R – Recognize what’s going on

When you are feeling overwhelmed, it’s helpful to shift your perspective from BEING the overwhelm to NOTICING the overwhelm. This is a subtle shift where we simply notice: “I’m feeling overwhelmed”. This alone may not make your feelings go away, but it is a crucial step in the process. When we do this, we get a little space from the overwhelm and our nervous system can begin the process of calming down.

A – Allow the experience to be there, just as it is.

This is where you intentionally show yourself love and compassion. With the same tenderness you would reserve for a child, give yourself compassion for feeling some hard stuff. In these moments, you may look in a mirror and tell yourself: “I’m feeling _______” (fill in the blank with however you are feeling).

“Sometimes it’s okay if the only thing you managed to do today is breathe.”

I – Investigate with kindness.

Gently look at your situation and find ways that you can show up for yourself. If you are still looking in the mirror, ask yourself what you need. Do you need to scream, cry, move? Would it be helpful if you committed to just completing one thing from your list? Or do you need to put aside your list for now and do something fun or relaxing? This is a great time to take some slow, deep belly breaths.

N – Natural experience which comes from not identifying with the experience.

Through every step, you have been practicing non-judgmental attachment with your feelings. As you finish with the RAIN process, remember that there is no such thing as a bad emotion. Emotions are simply signals – telling us how something does or doesn’t work for us. In other words, you are not an overwhelmed person so much as you are feeling overwhelmed at this moment.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it again for a few minutes, including you” – Anne Lamott


If you struggle with feeling overwhelmed more often than not, counseling can help. When we feel overwhelmed this is our body and mind telling us that there is something that is too much for us to handle. You don’t have to push through these feelings. The RAIN process is a helpful way to handle difficult emotions as they come up, but it will not help you address the root issues.

How can counselors help you with feeling overwhelmed?

At The Well House Group, we empower you to live your best lives. Whether this is teaching you how to dive deeper into stress management strategies or unpacking some of the root issues that cause your stress; we are here to help. Our compassionate and professional staff are here to help you find what you need to make it past whatever difficulties you may be facing.

Life does not have to feel stressful all the time. You can learn how to manage the overwhelm and live a healthier and happier life. We are available to schedule your appointment today via text, phone call, or email. We look forward to helping you achieve your goals today.

Academic Coaching | When School is Too Much

Classes, friends, and all the extracurriculars that it takes to ‘get ahead’ in life can leave you wondering how you are supposed to do it all. Without balance in your life, it can feel impossible. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. Academic coaching can help.

Teachers, tutors, counselors, coaches. Soo many adults, so little time – and how do you know who to turn to for help? Teachers, teach you the material. They are a great first stop when you start struggling in school. They can help re-teach a concept or help you catch up with missing assignments. Tutors can help you when the subject is just too hard to figure out in the classroom. A tutor can help you re-learn tough concepts, work through homework, or study for a test.

Counselors, whether school counselors or those out in private practice, can help you with your mental health. If you are struggling with depression or anxiety, they are a great person to have on your team. Speaking of teams, we usually think of athletic coaches but there are also academic coaches. Academic coaches, like athletic ones, are there to help you reach your goals. An academic coach will help you identify what is and isn’t working with your school life. You will create goals and actionable steps to reach those goals. If your academic coach is also a counselor, then you get the best of both worlds. You get targeted strategies to meet your academic goals with the expertise to tend to your mental health along the way.

Why is Academic Coaching Beneficial?

With academic coaching at The Well House, we utilize a solution-oriented approach. We focus on the realistic goals that you set for yourself to create a path for success. When tackling a load of classwork, social pressures, and extracurriculars; it can feel like you are climbing a growing wall. As you are tackling one task, it seems like three more are coming your way including grades, parental expectations, and the demands of higher education.

Academic coaching is going to teach you how to not only climb that wall you are facing but prepare you to leap over it. Sometimes all you need is for someone to show you a better way to prioritize and organize the tasks in front of you. Academic coaches are partnering with you to create a plan that works for you. That is going to look a bit different for everyone. Some people are paralyzed by the stress of school. Working past that to a place where the workload in front of you is manageable and expectations are able to be met with vigor is a key strategy for these kinds of students. Just like we all learn a bit differently, coaches help you to find your strategy for facing the challenges ahead.

Once you have mastered the academic portion, you can also move beyond to tackle some of the harder issues that are holding you back from living your best life. It is often found that underneath the academic issues, there are real-life issues as well. Whether you are dealing with past trauma, current trauma, or just want to feel more in control, our counselors can help you to gain the confidence and resources to face it all. These are all things that someone qualified to teach or tutor may not have the resources to handle. Academic coaching addresses the whole person rather than just the school-centered mind.

Reasons You May Need Academic Coaching

It is a struggle to keep up with the classwork

Classwork can become overwhelming quickly. Unfortunately, when we are overwhelmed, it is easy to procrastinate while panicking. This snowballs to create an even bigger stressor every time you think about it. The good news is, that stress is manageable when you are working with a counselor. They are there to teach you ways to manage your academic-related stressors.

We can help you to come up with a plan to tackle that snowball one piece at a time. Helping you to break it down into bite-sized pieces allows the pressure to become more manageable. Maybe you’ve gotten behind a bit because of an illness or your extracurriculars are making it difficult to find a balance. Balance is the key to living a life this is fulfilled. Counselors are there to help you achieve the life you desire, and move beyond YouTube breathing techniques.

You are feeling a rise in anxiety surrounding classwork

That being said, anxiety creates a physical response in the body that can be hard to overcome without some techniques. You feel your heart start to race, your breathing quickens, and your muscles are tightening in preparation for your response to stress. The human body has a hard time differentiating between a physical threat to you and a mental stressor. Your body is telling you to either run, freeze, or fight. How does that translate into your work in school? This lends itself to procrastination, avoidance, and poor performance.

Recognizing when you are starting to become anxious is the first step to overcoming those physical responses. A therapist can work with you to help reframe those stress triggers in a way that you can de-escalate those physical responses in a way that is manageable. When you are able to take back control over your body, it is that much easier to tackle the classwork that is coming your way.

You are capable of doing well in school with all the right tools.

You are looking for direction when it comes to higher education

Searching for the right university or college program for you is extraordinarily overwhelming. It can feel like your entire life is going to be determined with this one single decision. It can also feel like the program that you choose is a definition of who you are for the rest of your days. If you want to know a secret, most people have no clue who they are and what they want to be when they grow up even after they’ve been working in the ‘real world’ for years. Self-discovery is a constant journey.

Choosing your college takes a heavy bit of introspection. Small or large; private or public; arts or science? Working with a counselor can help you to answer the necessary questions involved in this decision for yourself. We can’t tell you what to do with your life, but we can help guide you down the right path for you. Academic coaching can help you ask the right questions rather than all the generic questions that are coming your way.

You are overwhelmed and losing interest in school

When you feel buried by all the work and information that school flings your way, it is easy to lose interest entirely and want to give up. Giving up may seem easy at the time, but it makes for hardships later on. This is the time to reach out to people you trust to let them know how you are feeling. It can make it even worse to feel alone and discouraged. Reaching out to those people doesn’t make you weak or dumb. It means you are taking back control of your life and the way you feel.

Taking with a counselor during academic coaching will help you to understand why you are feeling the way you are. Through targeted questioning, we can guide you to finding solutions to the problems that seem too hard for you at the moment right now. It’s about small steps every day to create a life that is better for you. Not only can you be doing better in school, but you can also find fulfillment in it as well. There are no guarantees that we can make school as interesting as those other hobbies you love, but we can help you reframe it to make it less annoying and tedious.

Parents, how you may be contributing to your child’s stress

As much as we love our kids, it is hard not to put undue pressure on their academic performance and life choices. You obviously want the best for their life and their future, but have you taken a step back to wonder if the way that you are approaching that is stressing them out more than necessary? Every child dreads feeling like a failure in the eyes of the people they love the most.

So, that then begs the question: as a parent, how can you help your child when they are struggling with their academic performance and overall satisfaction with their education? One step would be to put them in the best position possible to heal themselves. Take some of the pressure off from your side by letting them know that you will be there for them even when things are not going the way we planned. Listen actively to how they are feeling about school and watch for signs of stress in your child. Make sure you are leaving them time to have a social life. Developing those skills will help them to cope now and create a healthy future in their relationships.

Bringing them into a counseling practice for academic coaching can also let them know that there are more resources out there than just extra tutoring time. Grades are often a reflection of a child’s mental state as well as their learning journey. When they do come to you with a report that contains less than ideal scores, ask them how they are doing. Stress and anxiety can cause major deviations in performance. Communicating to your child that their mental state is an important part of who they are means that they are more likely to check in with themselves as well rather than just letting it go unattended.

Communication with your child

Be truly empathetic and non-confrontational

When commuting with your child when it comes to grades, you are often addressing them in a moment of personal crisis. Here are some tips to let you better communicate. First and foremost, it is better to approach them in an empathetic and non-confrontational manner. They are likely to think that you are only going to be disappointed by their underperformance. When you come to them from a place of understanding, they are more likely to really and truly connect honestly with you.

Oftentimes, this will allow you to work your way to the root of the issue rather than addressing surface-level issues. You can go from “I never get any sleep” to “I’m so stressed out about graduating and facing adult life that I am unable to shut down at night.” These are two related issues, but you can see how the first has an obvious answer (go to bed earlier) and the second means that your teen could use the help of a counselor.

Find things to praise your child for

Another way to keep the conversation constructive is to find moments to praise your child. Maybe they are struggling with their academic performance, but they are over performing in other ways. Finding those little moments for them to feel valued and appreciated can help to facilitate their openness to a way to address larger issues. At the same time, allow there to be pauses in the conversation for your child to really think about their responses. Forcing them to solve their own issues right away may not be realistic since they themselves may not even really know why they are having a hard time.

Seek a third party to help them open up

If your child is unable to communicate those frustrations and issues with you as a parent, academic counseling is a great place for them to explore the issue for themselves. Working through it on their own can be less embarrassing sometimes than talking through it with you when they are feeling the pressure of underperformance. Either way, it may be beneficial for you as a parent to seek out some support of your own. Parent coaching, like academic coaching, is a great place to find resources on how to handle the stress that comes with being a parent to all ages of children.

How The Well House Group can help you

Here in Southlake, TX we have all the resources you can need to get back on your feet. Whether we can help you with stress management strategies, create a better balance in your life, and give you help when deciding the direction for higher education. What’s best about our academic coaching is that we are your partner. As counselors, we are able to address any higher issues that present themselves during our time together. For parents, we also offer parent coaching to help you be the best equipped to help your child.

Our counseling practice is also able to provide you with in-person academic coaching as well with our HIPAA secure telehealth connection. For those students with schedules that are harder to manage between academics, extracurriculars, and sports; online counseling means it is that much easier for you to seek out help.

Schedule a consultation with us today so that we can get started on making your academic life more manageable. You can schedule with us via text, phone call, or email. School doesn’t have to be miserable. Let us help you experience success again.